Loving is easy, a singer once said. Frankly speaking, I know that is not the case for me most of the time. I remember having a conversation with some friends discussing what the L word meant to them. I did not remember all their answers, but throughout the highs and lows of living for 21 years (and counting) and real life examples from the people in my life, I found that love meant sacrifice. For context, here is what loving looks like in times of corona (what a transition!).

1. Being friends with the silence: this is a new thing I found throughout this quarantine, I can be in a room with my siblings and all of us would be hunkered down with our own business, either that’s an online school or work or ‘scrolling’ quietly on Instagram. This is not a foreign sight to me since I have experienced living with a roommate back in uni where we are pretty comfortable with silence, however, it just felt different with them. My tendency would be, asking them random stuffs like “Mau pesen (Chatime/makan siang) gak?” when I need some distractions from work, to which they usually reply with something “Diem, kak!”, or “Berisik deh”, or an eerie silence. Lol. Here, loving looks like sacrificing my wants, (aka ordering or chipping for that bubble tea) for their needs, which perhaps is having comfortable solitude to complete whatever their task of the day is.
2. Wake, eat, sleep repeat 24/7 with the fam: I have a big family and I love them. Yes, I enjoy cooking, watching videos, eating with them BUT we all know that it is not always the case. What does loving looks like here? Well, Adam Levine explained this better: It’s not always rainbows and butterflies it’s compromise that moves us along yeah
3. Keeping up a conversation with an old friend through online mediums (I make it sound very archaic) in itself is self-sacrifice of time and effort. Don’t get me wrong, I love my friends but showing that through daily, weekly, or monthly check-ups it is another thing that felt like a chore sometimes. In practice, loving my friends could look something like sending off a simple ‘how are you’ or perhaps, sharing a funny meme I saw on Facebook. The seemingly simple and effortless acts to ensure that they are alive, happy, and safe.

With or without corona, I still think that love is self-sacrificing your time, money, needs, wants, basically your whole life.

In my church, pastors usually describe it as ‘being a broken bread’, or ‘pouring into others’ life’. So, is loving is easy or hard? Well, it depends on how you define love.

This one quote below has helped me again and again to understand what love is and what it looks like in practice for me to love others well. I encourage you to read the full quote below, IT IS LONG but truly worth the read (he is writing this in a context of marriage, but I think it’s very much applicable for any relationships in life)

 Being in love is a good thing, but it is not the best thing. There are many things below it, but there are also things above it. You cannot make it the basis of a whole life. It is a noble feeling, but it is still a feeling. Now no feeling can be relied on to last in its full intensity, or even to last at all.  (…….)

Love in this second sense — love as distinct from ‘being in love’ — is not merely a feeling. It is a deep unity, maintained by the will and deliberately strengthened by habit; reinforced by the grace which both partners ask, and receive, from God. They can have this love for each other even at those moments when they do not like each other; as you love yourself even when you do not like yourself. 

C.S Lewis in Mere Christianity

Friends, whether or not we realize, the things we do to protect ourselves and others from the virus, like being in self-quarantine, or keeping a 1.5-2m distance with strangers when outside, are some ways to literally love our neighbors throughout this time. So, besides wearing our trusty masks when outside, and making sure that your hand sanitizers come in handy, let us all not forget to love one another too!